One of the biggest problems people with chronic illness face is their relationship with their doctor.

Let's face it, our lives, or at least some of the quality of life, is in their hands.

Here are a few tips on getting a good rapport with your doctor. 

1.Remember: he is only human, NOT GOD! If you treat him as godlike, he'll be tempted to act like it! Nor is he the enemy, unless you choose to alienate him.

2.If you have a chronic problems, there won't be any easy answers. This is hard for your doctor too (although obviously not as hard as it is for you). Doctors like to feel in control and your illness challenges that. OK, so that to some extent is tough, but if you keep it in mind, you will be able to a little bit see his side of things.

3.Communication is a 2-way street as is a relationship. Try to bring something positive with you to open the meeting. A smile would be nice and might help to set things off on a good footing. Starting with a whinge sets the tone for a depressing meeting and I suspect the doctor's heart will sink and he is already less kindly disposed towards you. Aggressive stance from the outset will only put him on the defensive. If you know a lot about your problem and have read up on it, try not to come out with all that you know straight away, the  doctor will not like it! Let on gradually with little hints and through questions you ask, that you have looked into it. Ask his opinion about what you have read, rather than presenting it as incontrovertible fact. (in other words, pander to his ego a little, flattery is often effective!!) Remember that it is possible that your information is incorrect or your interpretation of it misguided. Be prepared to be corrected, but challenge any statements the doctor makes that you don't agree with (but politely and constructively, perhaps with another question, "yes, but I don't understand why..is the case, then , could you explain it to me, or suggest where I can go for more accurate information, as I now how busy you are" )

4.Before you attend, work out what you want to achieve from the consultation. If you have questions, write them down.

5. At the consultation, try to be brief, don't ramble on. The doctor doesn't have a lot of time. Perhaps if you have a lot to discuss, try asking the receptionist if you could book a double appointment. Then your doctor's mind won't be distracted by worrying about getting through his clinic in time, so that he won't get stuck in rush hour traffic and get his ears chewed off by his wife for being late home! (Yes, that doesn't seem as important as your pain, but he does have a right to a life too, you know!) Also, don't forget: your problems are a substantial part of your life, but only a very small proportion of the problems the doctor will see in the course of a single clinic.

6.Try to present an attitude of wanting to be active in your own treatment plan and make it clear that you do not expect him to wave a magic wand. Show him you are realistic in your expectations of him. Try to avoid being over-assertive or aggressive. You may have every right to be angry, but it will probably be counter-productive.

7.Make it clear what you want out of the interview. If he does not meet your expectations, be firm in repeating your request and if denied, ask for his reasons. Don't be fobbed off or intimidated.

8. If you find that you cannot achieve a rapport and working relationship, consider changing doctors! There ARE some doctors who won't listen, who will make unpleasant and patronising assumptions about you, who will keep you in the Catch-22 situation where if you make a fuss you are neurotic, if you don 't then there can't be much wrong with you. Stoicism, instead of being admired, becomes a 2-edged sword to turn against you. This sort of doctor is best left well alone if possible. Most, however are just overworked and threatened by an incurable case. Appeal to their humanity and with any luck, you'll win through!