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When
change comes, you let go of the old to make room for the new.
The “Old me”.
The “old me” had a certain
life style, things you liked to do, people you liked to see. You
have worked and had an identity. If your occupation has changed
because of your condition, your old job might have been a been a
big part of who you were. You have been proud of the kinds of
things you could do, your skills.
The “New me”
The “new me” finds things
different. The world is not the same as it was. If you are
limited by your condition, you might be unable to do what you
used to. This is going to hurt. If you can't do your profession
any more, you might miss it. Some people find that they don't
know who they are now. The “new me” isn't all that
clear. Worse, they look at the “new me” and don't
like what they see. What is there to be proud of, or to connect
to?
The “Me I'm becoming”
Who do you want to become? This is really
important. At some point, you need to let go of who you were, so
that you can become the person you are going to be now. You hold
yourself back by holding on to things that are
not there any more.
The need for a dream, a vision: What kind of
possibility dream do you have for your life now?
A
challenge:
Some people find that they have tried making changes repeatedly, for
example, in getting a new career going. Over and over, things
have not worked. They get tired of trying. Worse, they have
had so many set-backs that they don't want to risk another one.
If this describes you, here is the challenge: Will you still
keep your possibility dreams alive? What will you do to keep
your weariness and discouragement from taking over? What would be
worth a risk?
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The challenge of change.
Change is often painful.
When we lose something that it is important to us, we grieve.
It hurts. If we are attached to something and that thing goes, it
feels bad. There is a sense of loss. If the thing we are attached
to is our old life, it's going to affect us pretty deeply. For
example:
- sadness or grief
- anger or bitterness
- numbness, confusion
- withdrawing from things
- loss of energy and motivation
- emptiness
This is quite natural, and you need
to let it happen.
This
was going to happen, but it happened too soon.
Many people feel that they could
accept that one day they were going to have to
give up things. Maybe when they are old and retired. This seems
ok, natural, and we accept it. But when it comes about
UN-naturally, it seems wrong, more upsetting. Maybe there was not
time to really prepare for the change years ahead. And people have
plans for their lives. Getting sick or injured can throw this off.
Where are those dreams now?
Holding
ON holds you BACK: Commit yourself to living well with what you
HAVE.
This is it. “The past is history, tomorrow is a mystery”,
it's said. Commit yourself to living with today.
Use your creativity and energy to create things in your new life
that make it worth the effort.
Take an inventory. What can you still do?
- What is already around you that can be rewarding?
- Is there anything that you have shut off that might be
worthwhile?
- Have you disqualified some activities or role for yourself with
judgment about it not being 'good enough', “It's just not
the same”, or “I shouldn't have to”.
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