• I am ready to make hard but positive choices and to see them through.

• I am open to new ideas and ways of living. When I have made these changes part of my life, I can also help others.

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The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121 AD - 180 AD), Meditations

Seeing it through

Maintaining your gains

By the time you reach the 10th Resolution, you have worked hard.  You have worked to accept your situation, yourself and others, have come to understand yourself (behaviour and thinking) deeply, and have made changes in how you deal with your condition and the world around you.  Life has probably improved noticeably.

All of this will really pay off when you make these changes a permanent part of your life.  But you need to maintain your gains. 

How do we create new habits?

We develop new habits the way we developed the old ones:

• wanting to do it (and being ready to)
• through practice
• being reminded
• and having payoffs

For each change you want to maintain:

1. Set a clear intention.  Write down exactly as you can what you want to be doing, in which situations, and with whom.  Be clear why you are doing it, and for whom.  Don't plan to do it if you are not really willing.
2. Make your intention public.  Tell people around you what you are starting to do, and get them to help out.
3. Have immediate rewards. Work out something that  will make doing the new behaviour feel good right away.
4. Be reminded. Put reminders around you to practice.  This could be sticky notes, photos that represent the change, objects, or other people.
5. Notice progress.  Keep track of your progress - with a journal, a graph, notches in the doorframe(!) whatever.
6. Be prepared for setbacks. Know the early warning signs that would show you are going off track, and heed these.
7. Begin again.  Start over again as often as necessary.

The reason that New Year's Resolutions (unlike the 10 Resolutions) are so often not sustained, is that people are often not clear on the goal, are not really clear why they are making the change, are not quite ready to, or don't support the follow-through.  If you follow the steps above, this should not be a problem for you.

The importance of Purpose

As you move ahead, you will need to have some vision of what you want now.  This is your purpose.  Having a renewed purpose for your life will make it MUCH easier to make the changes that you need to make, and to see them through.

Helping others

You are a resource for others

Because you have learned so much and come so far, you have have a great deal to offer others.  There are millions of people in the world suffering with chronic pain and illnesses, and not sure how to cope.  There are few resources for many of these people.  You are one the rare people who can truly understand what they are going through.  Because you have made positive changes yourself, you can help them by example. 

It benefits you both

Many people living with chronic conditions are unable to contribute in the ways they used to.  As a result, they feel less worthwhile.  Helping someone else in need is an important way to contribute.  Doing this will help you renew your sense of purpose and value in the world.  And it will help another being so that they hopefully don't have to go through their struggle without some guidance.

What can you do?

• Contribute to the 10 Resolutions Forum with your experiences.
   
• Start or join a local 10 Resolutions support group
   
• Volunteer in your local community.
   
• Contribute time or money to a cause you believe in.
   
• Meditate or pray for the wellbeing of others.

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